Tis the season to be busy...

by The Broken Hearts

Christmas is always a busy time for us, so what better way to reduce the stress and make things a little easier than by agreeing to organise and host the Hospital Club's Christmas party? NOT a problem!

We were given free reign over the theme, so decided to make it a black-and-white-striped "Bah! Humbug!" party. Well, at least we knew we'd have something to wear!

And what better way to illustrate the theme than with an exhibition of Rob Flowers' Krampus prints? In Alpine folklore Santa Claus rewards children who have been good with gifts, while Krampus punishes children who have been bad by giving them coal, whipping them with his birch, in some cases kidnapping and devouring them or even throwing them into the fires of Hell. Mmmmmm...festive!

We booked the fantastic Trixie Malicious, a real life John Waters heroine, who stripped whilst drinking vodka out of a huge papier mache turkey....

Trixie hitching (photo by N.Kendall)

...as well as the ridiculously Christmassy Bourgeois and Maurice:

We persuaded Bourgeois and Maurice to perform their fantastic Christmas hit 'Santa is a Terrorist' which we've raved about on previous occasions, and, predictably the crowd went wild:

We sneaked off to have our make up done by the brilliant Illamasqua team, who had set up a mini studio where guests could have Bah! Humbug! make up looks painted on their faces:

 And then showed off in front of the WKWYDLN photobooth designed by the very talented Petra Storrs:

You can see more photos from the photobooth here

Petra had also made dozens of giant humbug sweets which were piled up all over the venue:

The fun continued until Bourgeois and Maurice trashed the set in style:

At which point we decided to get in on the act...

...and the gorgeous Bishi took over DJ duties!

There was no time to catch up on some much needed sleep, as the WKWYDLN Christmas party was the very next night! Admittedly a little the worse for wear, we showed up to DJ before Othello Woolf played a great set:

Who did you kiss under the mistletoe??

Dont worry if you can't remember, as you can see all the photos from the night here!

The fun continued when we arrived in Berlin at the Michel Berger Hotel (Maurice Sendak fans may note the 'Where the Wild Things Are' reference on the outside...)

The hotel was great fun, and even had it's own Christmas Tree courtyard, complete with requisite wooden shack. It had a really friendly atmosphere, and we'd definitely recommend it if you're visiting. Watch which room you get though... We had a slightly uncomfortable moment when we had to change rooms as we'd been put in a lover's suite that featured nothing but a glass wall between the bed and the shower. Kinky. Close as we are, we're not THAT close.

Alpine cuckoo clocks at the Michel Berger...

Seeing as we had a whole weekend in Germany, we made it our first mission to find our own bodyweight in sausages and sauerkraut to consume. It didn't take long. With the help of our friend Matthias, we stumbled across a traditional German bar with a wooden roof and all manner of ales in the window. It was about minus 10 outside, so  the warmth and the quantity of bratwurst seriously cheered us up!

We actually finished the contents of those plates AND had desert. Yum.

The reason we were in Belin was to play at the aptly-named Broken Hearts Club, for their Christmas Party at the incredible Ballhaus Berlin.

We'd heard a lot about our namesake in Berlin, so it was great to be involved in one of their events. They started the night with a group meal for everyone involved in the club, which we particularly liked, especially seeing as it was a reindeer and cranberry stew. We LOVE the food in Germany! The Ballhaus Berlin is a beautiful dancehall that was built in 1905. It still has a lot of the original stucco work on the walls, but our favourite feature by far was the collection of vintage telephones - there's one on every table and they actually work! You can use them to call other tables to demand drinks, discuss performances, or just downright flirt. Genius!

The following day we decided to nurse our hangovers by seeing some of the sights the Berlin has to offer. As true tourists, we headed down to the Television Tower to check out the view from above - or from merrily on high, if you'll excuse the festive pun.

Snowy Berlin from 669 ft in the air.

Back with our feet firmly on the ground, we couldn't resist visiting the Christmas markets that had sprung up around Alexanderplatz. These were even a step up from the Swiss Christmas markets we visited in November, featuring live animals like miniature ponies to really get you into the festive spirit.

Three hours and one bus ride later, we arrived in Hamburg all set to play at Prinzenbar. It was slightly warmer than Berlin, averaging a sweltering minus 6, so it was a great contrast from our last trip during the summer when we hung out at the beach and went to the funfair. However, Germans do LOVE a fair - come rain or shine, so we were more than happy to visit yet more Christmas markets, and sample yet more delicious Gluhwein (German mulled wine).

As we were staying on the Reeperbahn again - the most notorious street in Hamburg, famed for its Ladies of the Night - we were constantly amused by the X-rated Christmas market that was going on below our apartment window. Santa has never looked so creepy.

A flight and three frantic visits to the Visa office later, and we were boarding a plane to Moscow on Christmas Eve. We were booked pretty last minute to play at the new rooftop bar at the Ritz on Christmas Day, but with an invitation that included the words RITZ and MOSCOW, we were very unlikely to refuse!

As we drew up, weary from our travels, we were fully reinvigorated by the opulence that awaited us, beginning with total cape-envy from the doorman who greeted us.

The Ritz was just as decadent as you could imagine - as a 6-star hotel it has a lot to live up to! - and the entrance was all gilt shells, colour-coded plants and sprawling marble staircases.

There was even a replica of St Basil's made entirely from gingerbread.We knew we were in for a good trip.

The rooms were just as incredible, with inlaid oak and mahogany panel, crystal decanters at the mini bar, and a wet room with two types of shower, separate to the enormous bathroom. And of course all the complimentary toiletries were provided by Bulgari. Bliss!

Our not-so-mini bar.

Even the lifts had their own added luxury with the changing days of the week carpet, just in case you're so luxed-out that you need reminding.

Our first meal in the rooftop bar consisted primarily of the BEST and BIGGEST oysters we have ever eaten, accompanied by Kir Royale cocktails.

The Ritz have employed some of Italy's finest chefs to create the menu for three months, so we were delighted when we were surprised by this aperatif - Campari Caviar! Fusing the best of Italy and Russia, Campari is injected into tiny gelatin balls to create a caviar-esqe treat. Very Heston Blumenthal, and very more-ish.

Campari became something of a running theme, as we spent the rest of the evening drinking an array of cocktails, from those made with 24 carat gold flakes and filled with rose petals, to those made of Campari jelly with a syringe of Tanqueray gin to insert at your leisure...

Having had our fill of delicacies, we decided to see Red Square by night. Staying at the Ritz we were just a five minute walk away, so couldn't resist having a peek as Christmas Eve slowly became Christmas Day. It was pretty special.

On CHristmas morning we were awoken with blueberry blinis in bed, refreshed and ready for another days exploring. But not before we opened our presents! Happy Christmas us!

Presents opened and we hot-footed it back to the Red Square to look around St Basil's - can you imagine a better way to spend Christmas Day than in a 16th century Russian cathedral?!

After that we went straight to sample the delights of the Moscow Metro - not only is it warmer undrground, but it's probably THE most beautiful Metro system in the world. It was built between the 1930s and 1950s, so is a breathtaking amalgamation of Modernist design combined with Russian decadence and Communist propaganda. A heady mix indeed! Every tint detail is decorative, and the hammer and sickle features in the most unlikely places. It's a fitting momument to Mother Russia.

Chandeliers. In the Metro! Can you imagine that on the Tube?!

Next on the agenda was the Cathedral of Christ the Saviour - a 19th century cathedral that was blown up during Soviet times in the 30s and transformed into a swimming pool! It was rebuilt throughout the 90s and re-consecrated in 2000.

Thinking that nothing could compete with what we'd seen so far, our fantastic guide Fatima told us there was one more place she wanted us to see. And so we found ourselves at the Bakhrushin Theatre Museum. The museum was founded by Alexei Bakhrushin - a theatre impresario - in the late 19th century, and has been there ever since, charting the history of dramatic arts in Moscow from Catherine the Great to the present day, including amazing set designs and costumes, as well as original sketches by Leon Bakst for the Ballet Russe, dance shoes worn by Nijinsky and early photos of Anna Pavlova. And it's all housed in a beautiful Neo-Gothic mansion - a real hidden treasure!

After an incredible day we rushed back to the Ritz, donned our feather lashes and took the gilt lift upto the rooftop bar in preparation for our set.  Overlooking the Red Square and with the snow gently falling we were entirely convinced that this was in fact the best Christmas ever.

BUT IT WASN'T OVER YET!! As any DJ knows, as New Year's Eve rolls around, it's time to work work work. And so after spending a few brief days with our families it was back to London for La Clique's New Year party at the Roundhouse in Camden. As you may remember from previous blogs, we are huge fans of La Clique, and with a roster of performers from Mario Queen of the Circus to Bret Pfister and our lovely friend Marawa the Amazing, you can see why. Needless to say we had an amazing time and managed to keep everyone dancing til late into the night.

Here we are with Le Gateau Chocolat singing New Year greetings - thanks to Natacha for the pictures!

HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM THE BROKEN HEARTS! x x